the weather is really chilly and breezy today.
newayz, its nice to bump into an old friend, mr j.
that heavy rain woke me from my sleep and now i am sipping on my choco. somehow, it enlivens me and make me feel better after having insomnia for countless nights. i've been on a rollercoaster ride again, in a matter of time..everything will break down. maybe that rain pour is what i needed to wake me up from a fairytale that i hang on to or believe in despite of anything.
perhaps i am too stubborn and selfish in a way, and my insecurities and fear are like self destruction to me and the circle of people around me. i have to put a stop and end all these. upsetting the ones i dear is the last thing i wanted to do.
i am turning over a new leaf now and not knowing what may come ahead for me. i will be as strong as i can and somehow take on life and start to accept everything. different individuals, lead a different life. some are lucky and some are caught in complications, some might be lucky enough to find their respective ones, some are still searching and some are just left alone.. living their life as a solitary soul.
i have to admit that i am too vulnerable and i'd fall too many times. for now, i'm afraid that i cant get up by myself and wipe on my own tears and treat my own wound. just for now, im too weak to do so. the courage of facing it somehow is too dreadful and painful to take it.
that very last message i've sent to ur email is what i really wanted to tell that certain someone
i do not want to dwell on things.
the trust is no longer there and i know, no matter what i do or say, its helpless. i dont want to be selfish anymore as i was.
i told that certain someone before that the difference is that u choose to leave before and i never, just that i refuse to admit and face it. and now, i will do what i am supposed to.
i thought u will know me and understand me more than anything.
i thought our trust is strong and solid enough, but it wasnt.
i keep on questioning how can u not trust me and are u too blind with your anger. and u give up everything just for that? but slowly, i start to let loose and stop thinking too much..
like what i've been told before, the past is the past.. and i have to learn to let go.
walking away at times, is the option and it is what left to do.
not because i dont care, its not because i want to.. because that's the only thing left for me to do.
im too afraid to hope and wish.
i will always remember that fairytale and that very 'bad day'
newayz, its nice to bump into an old friend, mr j.
that heavy rain woke me from my sleep and now i am sipping on my choco. somehow, it enlivens me and make me feel better after having insomnia for countless nights. i've been on a rollercoaster ride again, in a matter of time..everything will break down. maybe that rain pour is what i needed to wake me up from a fairytale that i hang on to or believe in despite of anything.
perhaps i am too stubborn and selfish in a way, and my insecurities and fear are like self destruction to me and the circle of people around me. i have to put a stop and end all these. upsetting the ones i dear is the last thing i wanted to do.
i am turning over a new leaf now and not knowing what may come ahead for me. i will be as strong as i can and somehow take on life and start to accept everything. different individuals, lead a different life. some are lucky and some are caught in complications, some might be lucky enough to find their respective ones, some are still searching and some are just left alone.. living their life as a solitary soul.
i have to admit that i am too vulnerable and i'd fall too many times. for now, i'm afraid that i cant get up by myself and wipe on my own tears and treat my own wound. just for now, im too weak to do so. the courage of facing it somehow is too dreadful and painful to take it.
that very last message i've sent to ur email is what i really wanted to tell that certain someone
i do not want to dwell on things.
the trust is no longer there and i know, no matter what i do or say, its helpless. i dont want to be selfish anymore as i was.
i told that certain someone before that the difference is that u choose to leave before and i never, just that i refuse to admit and face it. and now, i will do what i am supposed to.
i thought u will know me and understand me more than anything.
i thought our trust is strong and solid enough, but it wasnt.
i keep on questioning how can u not trust me and are u too blind with your anger. and u give up everything just for that? but slowly, i start to let loose and stop thinking too much..
like what i've been told before, the past is the past.. and i have to learn to let go.
walking away at times, is the option and it is what left to do.
not because i dont care, its not because i want to.. because that's the only thing left for me to do.
im too afraid to hope and wish.
i will always remember that fairytale and that very 'bad day'
windflower-Jisun feat alex chu
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