this is cute =), as in the collage thingy.. oh my, at this wee hour my stomach is having rumbles within.. and now i am itching for claypot lou shu fun.. and tff, thanks to limpeh for that.. omg, while im blogging limpeh just buzzed me.. he's finally back for good frm S.A.. for now, i am supposed to be studying but yet i am leeching on inessential stuff.
btw, thanks to papahao i am entangled with this;
newayz, cheerios to lee dewyze.. newayz, i need to stuff myself with fwoood!! newayz, i hv no idea why am i so hyper at this hour..
PLUE!! for those who never heard of it or did not knew bout it, they have no idea why PLUE somehow, nature usually takes it own cause. just like human did at times. in a way, somehow, someone, something rekindled often times, all these thoughtfulness do make you feel gleeful and warm even the miles and the gap doesnt weight in much being compared to those who you thought they are the ones who matter most, but it turns out to be not. at times, its sucha melancholy and heart breaking, but that particular time will eventually fade away. because i know, what needs to be done. i wont pace my foot forward anymore because every step i take, i take it warily and sanely i might loose my compass, but i haven't loose my senses
p.s. thnx to ruffeyz, for reminding me.. how i used to be so happy when i saw this
waking up today make me feel brand new and i am not sure whether it is something good or bad. maybe at last, i finally come to my senses in certain issues. but yet i am proud of what i am
here is a short post, so dont mind those senseless words of mine.
i used to questioned why am i sucha hardheaded one whereby i am so denial and stubborn to make a pace for myself. just one single step and that is all it takes. and i did so. for once, i am being so proud of it because it is what i want all this while. even words cant describe how blessed and fortunate i am for having the one. throughout the test of time, i realise more than what it takes. i always believe in fairytales even though it might be the biggest scam ever to con kids. there are times whereby a person have to grow up and start to banish all these thoughts.
the words that are spoken it cant be revoked. for the first time it might be a mistake, but then, the second time it might be a misunderstanding. but for the third time, i know it was real. it is not a question whereby where will it lead, its a question whereby do you think its worth everything. and my say will be the second one. because it is worth it. and that is all it matters. it is not what you get in return, it is what i did which matters.
for now, we wouldnt know where this trail will lead us to but i'm glad im on the track.
i'll be on a hiatus mode for now and i would not vent much on this lodge. it is better to keep everything to the soul within.
-this time, its in korean where i find it harder to catch me.. for those who fathoms, they knew why music-
p.s. yes, i am in love with my bff whereby i refuse to admit. and yes, i lie to u when i say it will never happen. take good care n rest well, since u're ill
often times, i used to dispute the fact that i'm on this state. i feel that slowly i am loosing myself and the significant things that matters most to me. i used to love before, whereby i love blindly and unconditionally.
perhaps it should be naive and stupid for certain someone. i make a pledge to myself that i won't throw myself out there for any inflictions and to be wounded anymore. the feeling whereby u are just abandoned during the pitch black night in the middle of nowhere and hoping helplessly for that mr. becoming to come. basically, like what someone told me that i've just been rescued from that lair and now i am digging myself another grave.
perhaps i am too good in camouflaging and masking myself whereby beneath of it, i am still the fragile one. as these capability of mine is wearing off, i am slowly unveiling myself to jeopardies.
i've never changed much within the soul, that i am still the vunerable one, breathe eating in the love that i need and the shelter that keep me safe from everything. those darkest hours and bygones are still leeching on me. even a slight glimpse on that very knife will wound me and make me bleed.
all this while i keep it within, whereby u existed before u knew
the difference is that i refused to concede, fearing the worst to come about. that is why i chose to be the keeper. but you chose to walkaway, once.. the difference is that, i never..
for now, i found the very answer i needed and its you who havent found yours..
this is how i started my day, with tunes and my expresso frap =) although there's some displeasing moment this morning, but who cares as long as i am in good hands and dote on
Everybody needs inspiration, Everbody needs a song. A beautiful melody, When the night's are long. Cause there is no guarantee, That this love is easy.
And when my world is falling apart. When there's no light to break up the dark, That's when I, I, I look at you. When the waves are flooding the shore, and I can't find my way home anymore. That's when I look at you.
When I look at you, I see forgiveness, I see the truth. You love me for who I am, Like the stars hold the moon, Right there where they belong. and I know im not alone.
Yeah when my world is falling apart, When there's no light to break up the dark, That's when I, I, I look at you. When the waves are flooding the shore, and I can't find my way home anymore, That's when I look at you.
You, appear just like a dream to me. Just like kaleidoscope colours, That cover me, All I need, Every breath that I breathe, Don't you know you're beautiful.
its a bittersweet symphony reminded us the fundamental of laughter the measureless path and bumpy road we took the years and the bond through the test of time, it was still sturdy and solid oh boy, u've secured that very knot on me oh boy, u've seen the ugly truth and beautiful state of mine often times, only you fathoms the paradoxical mind of mine often times, you seem to reach me in the most obscure place we are both like a fuse of indie jazz routine where the law of opposite attract is what drawn us together it wasn't about vanity and the 5'C's it wasn't about befitting and society outlook its all about me and you and a dog named boo (>.<)
you're my bff you're my soulmate you're just you the fixie bear from down the hill
slowly, i'm pacing off from the rollercoaster ride i am in. Things around me seem to augment by itself and no longer poses a threat to the soul within. for that nanosecond, i feel like everything was colliding and i am barely there, gripping on to anything i can hold on to survive that chaotic moment. i used to question the whyfor and the drastic-ness in life i'm forced to face. everthing was like a repetition itself,perhaps like an ipod turned on shuffle mode whereby u effing hate that particular song and it seems like that was the only euphony in your playlist. worst still, the battery was like forever.
at times, living your life like a sadist or pessimist will eventually ruin your very own life. fools like u needed a reality slap badly. dont u fools know that those around you are somehow stuck in the same state you are in and they suffer from those consequences you've caused. at times, prohibiting those vunerability of yours from residing is a good thing. people used to be caught in their own fixation about how the world spins and in the long run, these delusions of theirs became so surreal that they no longer can differentiate between fiction and reality.
newayz, here i express my gratitude to those who assisted me and im thankful to the special ones for that crying shoulder i needed badly during those rough times.
so i am done for the short post of the month and the woman is now on the run
knn, i am having rashes all over my body and running nose.. oh my, i'm uber tired and busy since the kick of 2010.. finally, i am havin a lil time to somehow blog a lil and my lodge is pretty dead. i miss dozing off before 12 n waking up early in the morn..
-bites of mine-
-munches of me-
heck lotsa picto to be ditto on.. and more to come.. i've been pokering, 'chuk moong', ginrami, blackjack and yadas.. drinking from cny's eve till now and chumping 24/7, tar kei and soirees upcoming: -karaoke tomorrow night + buffet -house visiting on fri and shopping. dang, i lost my cam's cable so i need to get one and yes mom, i'll exchange those currency tomorrow. newayz, usd raised a lil.. just a reminder for myself -justin's b'day bash.. just got him this cute photoelectronic abc&123 learning device -class commencing and yet i am still on my unofficial holiday -vietnam trip -thailand trip -genting trip that is all i can remember for now. since i've stopped jotting down words on my planner, i am getting a lil jumbled up bless me
just pondering, is there any place where i can get greentea frap now! those craves are itching on me i am going to start my gym right after vietnam, i'm ballooning up like shyt and i need to stop bulging before i have this frantic-ness on xxx.. lol happy cny everyone
-what a way to start my year.. thanks to ron for that shyt-
happy 2010 my lodge. here i am inconstant with my deportment again. for this year, there are heaps of resolutions i head on.. lettering down my thoughts and trails seems to be lessen lately.
there's been alot of ups and downs for me. it feels like for the past year, i've been evolving from my true form. the alter ego in me seems to take position of what i've become and movin within the parallel of time no longer make any sense to me, while the soul within still resides. i would call it the observer, the one who fathom and tell between.
there are part of one's personality which is mistaken for a divinely created soul. may it be called the feeling or sensations which and be pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. feelings arise when contact made with the eye, ear, touch or perhaps the mind. when your eyes 'sees', that is all that happens, which is seeing. the eye simply falls on hundred of objects in a day and moves on, but then something else happens. the eye meets a form and consciousness arises and this inevitably give rises to your mind. but then, what the mind perceives in a way is it the act you choose to carry out?
with feeling, there is perception which is the recognition of things and then we are accompanied by mental formations which includes volition. when we consciously act upon what we perceive in a certain way, this is when the karmic results... consciousness which contains all the previous factors makin 4 factors in all, namely, feelin, sensation.. mental formation and consciousness. at times, when mind and matter together make up the illusion of a person. don't you feel some time its hard to tell whether it's fiction or not.
all these arises within me when certain someone make this statement; 'there are 24 personalities in a person. what is your pov about it?'
newayz, check out john mayer and zee avi's latest album
finally, i am done with the passport thingy. i'm sorta immobilized today and got stuck in the immigration department, from 8.30 to 4. what a great day and finally, i am sipping on my green tea frap at the lodging spot. thanks to the ah moi for accompanying me through those dreadful and wearysome hours. oh my, we both are really donkeys in crime.
oh my, i hate you..
damn, i do hate you...
i hate you Burger.. you make me itch for you, you evil ayam special cheese. i had you on kg. malaysia and now i am longing for you. what had you done to me. why are you so tempting and tantalizing. you are sucha mean one.. sucha succulent one. dang, i'm so gonna have you tonight.
december should be a festive and moolah sucking month for everybody.
but there's a little extra for the donks. what a nice way to start the month with presentation tomorrow and assignments due. sleepovers are like weekly to me now.
oh my, can i just graduate faster and travel.
the woman is on the move now.
maxis centre and optical shop will be my next destination.
I'm pretty weary lately and i'm kind of skeptical towards certain issues.. I'm really tired lately and i slept for almost 12 hours yesterday The trail of mine:
running here and there for errands
engaged in some sorta melee
supposed to study law, but then met up with the ladies and went for uber deli duck rice at some ulu place in kg. pandan. and thanks to lil, we went to queen's park. my total damage of x1 perfume, x1 polo shirt, x1 makeup, x1 long sleeve and nearly x1 bag.
having sleepovers at lil's place.
went for ketchup sessione with the bear and p.yee at a new lodging spot in tmn. desa. then head on to shawn cutler. i pretty like what fei did to my strands. thanks to the child for it, whereby it was supposed to be her moment and ended up me and the bear blend in for the fun.
just came home from the ice cream parlour
tomorrow i need to wake up early to bank in cheques, fix my glasses, pick up lappie and renew my passport whereby i'll be leaving on 11th.
ps: mom, i am going to renew it.. for REAL.. so ya, dont nag
it was her death anniversary last friday and i tear a little the day before. even though i get used to her absence, but i still miss her dearly. i miss those tick-tock hours where we used to follow her around and i wish that every new year will still be the same.
while i was packing my stuffs the other day, i found a glass bottle full with sweet treats and tidings of little memo with it. then i saw this bond, a bond whereby it bind us together for sucha time whereby i lost count of the forsaken things and time we cede. was it a tie all this while? we always seem so close but yet so far. i used to believe that we are the destined soulmate. the kinship and connection we share was the one that i never knew that it really exist, where often times when i wound myself, i thought u could feel me and read me. there was once, you used to fathom why i hate those witching hour where it turns me to this nocturnal dork. if i do sway away from you, will you realize my absence? we used to spill our feelings and thoughts to one another because we knew each other like no other. within the years, things changed overly. having a simple conversation seem so bitter to both of us, and the whyfor was no longer there. i am cutting loose is because of what we have become and do we still stand the same in our heart? 'ni hai zhi de wo men de yue ding ma?'
i've moved my tavern to another site, a lodge where it is more confined.
i've started a new trail elsewhere but i will still lodge by once in a while.
To kick someone within the crotial area with the intent to do bodily harm and severe harm to reproductive organs.(Maybe be commited with a 'steel' toed boot.)
An Awesome person, a awesome friend one of the best you will meet.but is shit at life :)
i'm so exhausted lately and i can't help but to keep things going.
been attending full classes lately, till 5 pm daily and studying nightly. class today was long winding and slumbersome. 4 hours of non stop lecture really make me feel senseless after that.
as usual, just came home from yamcha session with the cronies and i am still planning what to wear on sat. a blue pinafore or the stripy one? well, red & the bear came out with the 'back to school' theme cause everybody is turning a deaf ear on the halloween dressed up thingy. it is back to school as in really ah lian blue pinafore and ah beng green ugly pantzu.
the other day, ms. ck and i laze a little and went to il padrino. the food was good except for the ice choco and the portions.
a little something to cackle about today some random picto i found in my friend's album
nanites.. will be having bkt for breakfast tomorrow with the cronies at summit -yawnz-
lately, i'm jinxed by k-pop. even my peeps told me i am weird. newayz, its catchy n kinky. suit up like gaga, chris & neyo hybrid vocality, t-pain-esque, plus a touch of electronica hip pop.. not bad
oh my, at this hour i should be in a comatose. i'm screwing up my sleeping hour.yawn yesterday after vik's open house, met up with the cronies at oldtown then head back to red's place for mj and 'chor dai dee' till 9am. yawnz slept for a few hours, went to papa rich and watch surrogates. then went home to send those interview query to the bear. yawnzz oh man, i really need to slumber asap where i have to wake up at 10 yawnzzz. -heart csc-
the haps lately -red's open house -at my lodging spot, from damansara to gardens then to cheras -thinking bout going to aussie to look for marky -got a postcard from marky which make me tear and marky feel bad about it -su finally went back to melb -i'm kinda broke, not to mention rm1XXX gone in one week -completing 2 effin assignment & 1 midterm in 2 weeks -my new itch, satay goreng and 'seeham' -as usual, yamcha session on fri & sat -loitering at gardens with the dulios -addicted to da vinci code game.. 3/4 stages completed. its fun deciphering all the cryptics,anagrams and learning fibonacci sequence. i'm so gonna complete it in a week time and i dont use the guide and walkthrough. i'm enjoying it =) -done with my dramas
and now, going to vik's open house ciao bella, xoxo
-its a rainbow-
