-Fickled-

im currently spacing out
there are things that i am still searching for
im just stationing myself for now
just waiting for the right tide to hit the shores
with a voice that cannot speak and gather up each emotion
that can’t be put into words and i'll cast them when it hits
as certain within, i've made this far
and i paved it through
and i'm capable of doing so

i found a dusty folder, perhaps i left it there untouched for a long time
i wish i could share it whereby it is sentimental to me, perhaps someone or something makes it significant.
people tend to loose what matters to them when they take things for granted
and i did
chances are given and not all know how to grab it
and i did
its like footprints and traces
and now, i'm somehow puzzled between the crossroad

xxXXxx

She's getting out of bed
At half past ten
She starts to comb her hair
Just an ordinary day
She looks at her reflection
Off the wall
Why do I care at all
Just an ordinary day
An ordinary day
That's hurting you
Don't hide out inside yourself
If you only let the sunshine on you

I promise you
You're not alone
When the lights go out at night
When you're feeling lost inside
You're not alone
You're not alone
When your world is falling down
I will be the one around
You're not alone
You're not alone

She's waiting for the bus it's 12.59
She's sitting on her own
Just an ordinary day
She's looking at the people
Passing her by
It could be you and I
They would never dream
Of slowing down
To see if she's alright
Don't hide out inside yourself
If you only let the sunshine on you

I promise you
You're not alone
When the lights go out at night
When you're feeling lost inside
You're not alone
You're not alone
When your world is falling down
I will be the one around
You're not alone

I'm hurting
She's hurting
I'm hurting, she's hurting
I'm so alone

When the lights go out at night
When you're feeling lost inside
You're not alone
I will be the one around

-Slapstick-

glee..glee!!

the woman is vivacious and nonchalant

and i feel so me lately

must be the daily dosage prescribed by dr.fxi

blithe lozenges and love pellet

Saw it.. heard it.. chuckles..

dracula dies from a heart attack right after catching his favourite vampire series on TV.

he goes to heaven where he's allowed to choose 3 qualities to hav in his next life.

dracula thinks really hard n finally makes up his mind.

first, he says 'i still want to be able to suck blood'

then he continued 'i want to have wings too, so i can fly'

lastly, after thinkin for the longest time..he says 'and i want all women to want me'

whooosssshhhh.. he was promptly turned into a sanitary pad

bear and rabbit are taking a dump in the forest.

bear asks the rabbit, 'hey, do u have a problem with poo sticking to ur fur?'

rabbit says 'nope...'

so bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass..

i'mma continue my work, while makan tambun biscuit

then watch fringe, while waiting for dr.fxi

then slumber early, wake up early.. happy X10 day tomorrow

-xOxO-

-Buffoonery-

-Pixelated in motion-

-prism-esque-

-shutterbug-

-mushy bear hug-

-cutesy max hammie-

-uber adorable-

i have heaps of workload to finish

and yet, i'm still stoning...

btw, i'm sensing something strange lately

*pouts*

-Significant-

on every 9th is the day whereby i feel whimsy

i see stars and kaleidoscopic cosmos whenever i look at the ceiling

i hear the melody playing in my head

i tend to run to the piles of old newspapers to check for any delivery..outer red, inner brown and dollop sweet..

i tend to snuggle my bolster when i sleep and check on that personal beacon of mine

the sky is cloudy and the wind is chilly

my face is dampen by the tears and yet when i look into the mirror, i see the dimples of mine

and then i recalled those warmness..those whispers..

eventually, it became the remedy itself

and the bandeau around my finger is the charm itself, that shield me from incubuses

and i hear the melody and soft voice

xxXXxx

你日日笑得這麽燦爛我怎捨得你喊
做小丑我都原意爲了搏紅顔一笑

從來沒有這麽想一件事原來有這麽一件事
才值得我們留戀今天為你死都可以

從前有那三個字天天講你知雖然沒新意但有意思
我儲埋儲埋這麽多詩句我只想你可以跟我一起笑
從前那三個字人人都鐘意好不可思議
但是又有幾個人真正明白 那意思我只知道我只想你快樂

趁住人多多講講心裏話 咁先至值囘票價
從此得你知我 任何事都不會怕
從來沒有 這麽想一件事 原來有這麽一件事
才值得我們留戀今天真的為你死都可以

從前有那三個字天天講你知雖然沒新意但有意思
我儲埋儲埋這麽多詩句我只想你可以跟我一起笑
從前那三個字人人都鐘意好不可思議
但是又有幾個人真正明白那意思我只知道我只想你快樂

就算今天不再闖過昨日我怎麽講都無謂
就算今天不再闖過昨日我願意等下去
再等下去 再等下去

-Hiatus-

oh baby baby baby babe
how long am i supposed to wait?

i think about you nightly

oh can u tell im loosin sleep?

the folded papers for offerings

-flower-

-shutterbug-

-love-

-jjjjjjjengga-

-finest-

-Glimpse-

'I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells. '
Dr. Seuss

Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keep friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.

-Merry Go Round-

finally, after days of being bedridden.. i drag myself to the doc..
sigh, look at the size of the pill.. its effing hard to swallow..
the worst part was fatigue and drowsiness..

-Sunset-

-Bliss-

today aint a happy day for me

there are moments in life where u just have to suck it in
having a good anger management and self control doesnt work all the time
chattels compared to a person & life....
its just...
just....
just too shallow...

-Beginning-

day 2 since the very beginning of my journey
im still feeling unwell and i only feed on rocky sticks today
and my very first cup of coffee since 5 days
i have to get things done within this week
hopefully i recover a.s.a.p

xoxo

-Punch Bag-

argghh, i cant freaking breathe. my nose are blocked..

im so used to sleeping sideways n its effing annoying when its blocked one sided..
and you, yes you.. mr.fever and his side kick, mr.sore throat.. you guys came along just at the right time. effing good combo..knn

i have my assignment to rush and i dont even know how to start..blardy corp. acc is driving me to the wall.
my eyes are watery and those medi are making me nausea and tired.. how i wish that someone will be there to take care of me..
my body aches and im having cramps on the leg..
even when i'm effing sick, i still have to carry tonnes of groceries and do the chores..
been trying to feed on some rice today and ive been drinking heaps of water.. where it annoys me when u are on pills, and u hv to drag urself to the toilet when ur sober and dizzy.
im feeling fatigue every morning and mood swings are killing me.. i just cant freaking help it!!
my feet is cold and my hands are sweaty..even sweater cant keep me warm..and the only thing i can chew on is strepsils.
and im feeling a little hungry now..thinking of chicken porridge makes my stomach growl -.-
im so so tired..
im so so cold..
im so so sleepy..

listening to 丁噹 -亲人..

-Hearts-

Happy Birthday you two big tot!!

Love you mom

Love you pa

-some of dadzy's old coll mates-

-everyone were trying to amuse the little one-

-like ma, like son..adorable max-

-somehow it was funny.. poor boy was crying and there goes both of them burst out laughing-

-awww..cute! me took it..credit to me-

=)

-andy was funny..starring at justin boy while he munch on the sweet.. it looks like he wants it-

-cute candles in the form of alphabets-

-adorable-

-take 1.. snap!!-

-take 2.. snap!!-

-take 3.. snap!! lol-

-the no longer boys of the pack, mumzy and me-

-mamily fembers!!-

-glidey heart justy-

-heart u mom-

-faggot-

the post titled 'hearts'
and not to forget, my very heart
=)

♥ heart u ♥

-A to the Z-

the weekend is never better when you're with the ones.
and its always endless and entertaining.. =)
and today its from A to the Z..
seriously, next week lets hv fun!!
i've been a good girl for long, and its time for jimmy/dulio to be back

my dinner =)
seriously its darn good and savory.. mumzy, you're indeed the best cook ever.

see the lomo effect. and the yin&yang of me..

the miss is happy tonight =)
and im slowly embracing life in a different aspect
nanites..

xoxo

-Fairytale-

the weather is really chilly and breezy today.
newayz, its nice to bump into an old friend, mr j.

that heavy rain woke me from my sleep and now i am sipping on my choco. somehow, it enlivens me and make me feel better after having insomnia for countless nights. i've been on a rollercoaster ride again, in a matter of time..everything will break down. maybe that rain pour is what i needed to wake me up from a fairytale that i hang on to or believe in despite of anything.

perhaps i am too stubborn and selfish in a way, and my insecurities and fear are like self destruction to me and the circle of people around me. i have to put a stop and end all these. upsetting the ones i dear is the last thing i wanted to do.
i am turning over a new leaf now and not knowing what may come ahead for me. i will be as strong as i can and somehow take on life and start to accept everything. different individuals, lead a different life. some are lucky and some are caught in complications, some might be lucky enough to find their respective ones, some are still searching and some are just left alone.. living their life as a solitary soul.
i have to admit that i am too vulnerable and i'd fall too many times. for now, i'm afraid that i cant get up by myself and wipe on my own tears and treat my own wound. just for now, im too weak to do so. the courage of facing it somehow is too dreadful and painful to take it.

that very last message i've sent to ur email is what i really wanted to tell that certain someone
i do not want to dwell on things.
the trust is no longer there and i know, no matter what i do or say, its helpless. i dont want to be selfish anymore as i was.
i told that certain someone before that the difference is that u choose to leave before and i never, just that i refuse to admit and face it. and now, i will do what i am supposed to.
i thought u will know me and understand me more than anything.
i thought our trust is strong and solid enough, but it wasnt.
i keep on questioning how can u not trust me and are u too blind with your anger. and u give up everything just for that? but slowly, i start to let loose and stop thinking too much..
like what i've been told before, the past is the past.. and i have to learn to let go.
walking away at times, is the option and it is what left to do.
not because i dont care, its not because i want to.. because that's the only thing left for me to do.
im too afraid to hope and wish.
i will always remember that fairytale and that very 'bad day'

windflower-Jisun feat alex chu

-Into The New World-

i am still what i am no matter what and i will never do anything to put myself in a state whereby i am unappreciated and disrespect. i have enough of shyts of what i've came about.
i dont need the world, all i need is someone sincere and trust
i am emotional often times, so what
i do get teary easily, so what
i am unpredictable, so what
i do need that special someone to hold me when i fall and shield me, so what
im just an ordinary soul and that beating heart of mine aint made of steel
i dont freaking live my life based on people's judgment
im sick of being the one who stay up for and stick around
empty words spoken, are like hollows
no point bringing me to fancy places whereby u dont effing now what i favor most
all i need is devotedness and sincerity and i will give u the world
its not about age or which phase you are on
its all about you, on how far your reach and commitment
time and tide wait for no man, so do i
im not afraid to fear and falter, because by the end of the day its all about what you've trembled on, what u've learned and did u try your very best with commitment, without a faint heart
i might be a jester in disguise but i weight in life solemnly

xxXxx

I want to express this time of sadness,
even if you hear it after all the sadness scattered
Close your eyes and try to feel my shaking heart,
and see the glitter in my eyes when I face you
Don't wait for a special miracle,
the street where we met is right in front of your eyes
I can't change the future and habits that I don't know of,
I can't abandon them either
Please protect me with unchanging love,
all the way to my scarred heart
There is no use for words within my gaze,
time has finally come to a stop

I love you, and at the end of my wandering,
I started to miss that feeling
I will now say 'Goodbye'
to the repeating sadness within this world
On the many unknown roads,
I chase after that dim light
No matter how long it takes, it's something we'll do together!
After all, it's my world where we can meet again

-Fetish + Abrupt-

finally the classes commenced and i have to ditch those late nights outing and from today onwards, i've decided on couple of things.
recently, i do realize alot of things. some of those whereby i used to question and doubt on, some whereby i used to believe and have faith on and heaps more.. i do recalled those pointers from certain someone that all those unsolved will be solved, as time will solve it.
i will fight for everything i want and i will freaking smile to the whole world even though it kills me.

btw, its been long since im having mad fetish over certain something.
omg, loved it when i saw it..
me gonna hunt u down..but im still thinking on getting that baby blue one.. damn, i hate dilemma..


newayz, i need to sleep early from today onwards and i will learn to take good care of myself.. by being less clumsy and reckless. *i nearly chopped my finger off the other day and now i am left with pain and bandage.. -.-*
but look at the bandage

-♥ -

newayz, i hv to be awake by 6.30 and head to gardens tomorrow

nanitez