-Hearts-

Happy Birthday you two big tot!!

Love you mom

Love you pa

-some of dadzy's old coll mates-

-everyone were trying to amuse the little one-

-like ma, like son..adorable max-

-somehow it was funny.. poor boy was crying and there goes both of them burst out laughing-

-awww..cute! me took it..credit to me-

=)

-andy was funny..starring at justin boy while he munch on the sweet.. it looks like he wants it-

-cute candles in the form of alphabets-

-adorable-

-take 1.. snap!!-

-take 2.. snap!!-

-take 3.. snap!! lol-

-the no longer boys of the pack, mumzy and me-

-mamily fembers!!-

-glidey heart justy-

-heart u mom-

-faggot-

the post titled 'hearts'
and not to forget, my very heart
=)

♥ heart u ♥

-A to the Z-

the weekend is never better when you're with the ones.
and its always endless and entertaining.. =)
and today its from A to the Z..
seriously, next week lets hv fun!!
i've been a good girl for long, and its time for jimmy/dulio to be back

my dinner =)
seriously its darn good and savory.. mumzy, you're indeed the best cook ever.

see the lomo effect. and the yin&yang of me..

the miss is happy tonight =)
and im slowly embracing life in a different aspect
nanites..

xoxo

-Fairytale-

the weather is really chilly and breezy today.
newayz, its nice to bump into an old friend, mr j.

that heavy rain woke me from my sleep and now i am sipping on my choco. somehow, it enlivens me and make me feel better after having insomnia for countless nights. i've been on a rollercoaster ride again, in a matter of time..everything will break down. maybe that rain pour is what i needed to wake me up from a fairytale that i hang on to or believe in despite of anything.

perhaps i am too stubborn and selfish in a way, and my insecurities and fear are like self destruction to me and the circle of people around me. i have to put a stop and end all these. upsetting the ones i dear is the last thing i wanted to do.
i am turning over a new leaf now and not knowing what may come ahead for me. i will be as strong as i can and somehow take on life and start to accept everything. different individuals, lead a different life. some are lucky and some are caught in complications, some might be lucky enough to find their respective ones, some are still searching and some are just left alone.. living their life as a solitary soul.
i have to admit that i am too vulnerable and i'd fall too many times. for now, i'm afraid that i cant get up by myself and wipe on my own tears and treat my own wound. just for now, im too weak to do so. the courage of facing it somehow is too dreadful and painful to take it.

that very last message i've sent to ur email is what i really wanted to tell that certain someone
i do not want to dwell on things.
the trust is no longer there and i know, no matter what i do or say, its helpless. i dont want to be selfish anymore as i was.
i told that certain someone before that the difference is that u choose to leave before and i never, just that i refuse to admit and face it. and now, i will do what i am supposed to.
i thought u will know me and understand me more than anything.
i thought our trust is strong and solid enough, but it wasnt.
i keep on questioning how can u not trust me and are u too blind with your anger. and u give up everything just for that? but slowly, i start to let loose and stop thinking too much..
like what i've been told before, the past is the past.. and i have to learn to let go.
walking away at times, is the option and it is what left to do.
not because i dont care, its not because i want to.. because that's the only thing left for me to do.
im too afraid to hope and wish.
i will always remember that fairytale and that very 'bad day'

windflower-Jisun feat alex chu

-Into The New World-

i am still what i am no matter what and i will never do anything to put myself in a state whereby i am unappreciated and disrespect. i have enough of shyts of what i've came about.
i dont need the world, all i need is someone sincere and trust
i am emotional often times, so what
i do get teary easily, so what
i am unpredictable, so what
i do need that special someone to hold me when i fall and shield me, so what
im just an ordinary soul and that beating heart of mine aint made of steel
i dont freaking live my life based on people's judgment
im sick of being the one who stay up for and stick around
empty words spoken, are like hollows
no point bringing me to fancy places whereby u dont effing now what i favor most
all i need is devotedness and sincerity and i will give u the world
its not about age or which phase you are on
its all about you, on how far your reach and commitment
time and tide wait for no man, so do i
im not afraid to fear and falter, because by the end of the day its all about what you've trembled on, what u've learned and did u try your very best with commitment, without a faint heart
i might be a jester in disguise but i weight in life solemnly

xxXxx

I want to express this time of sadness,
even if you hear it after all the sadness scattered
Close your eyes and try to feel my shaking heart,
and see the glitter in my eyes when I face you
Don't wait for a special miracle,
the street where we met is right in front of your eyes
I can't change the future and habits that I don't know of,
I can't abandon them either
Please protect me with unchanging love,
all the way to my scarred heart
There is no use for words within my gaze,
time has finally come to a stop

I love you, and at the end of my wandering,
I started to miss that feeling
I will now say 'Goodbye'
to the repeating sadness within this world
On the many unknown roads,
I chase after that dim light
No matter how long it takes, it's something we'll do together!
After all, it's my world where we can meet again

-Fetish + Abrupt-

finally the classes commenced and i have to ditch those late nights outing and from today onwards, i've decided on couple of things.
recently, i do realize alot of things. some of those whereby i used to question and doubt on, some whereby i used to believe and have faith on and heaps more.. i do recalled those pointers from certain someone that all those unsolved will be solved, as time will solve it.
i will fight for everything i want and i will freaking smile to the whole world even though it kills me.

btw, its been long since im having mad fetish over certain something.
omg, loved it when i saw it..
me gonna hunt u down..but im still thinking on getting that baby blue one.. damn, i hate dilemma..


newayz, i need to sleep early from today onwards and i will learn to take good care of myself.. by being less clumsy and reckless. *i nearly chopped my finger off the other day and now i am left with pain and bandage.. -.-*
but look at the bandage

-♥ -

newayz, i hv to be awake by 6.30 and head to gardens tomorrow

nanitez

-Traverse-

time flies and july is kicking in.. hence, half a year gone.

i really do not know why those idiotic thick skinned fellas are simply too good in creating chaos all over and over again. i really do wonder what are you guys up to and besides all these shyts, what are you all good at. even a blardy 6 yrs old do know what respect is. in that effing dictionary of yours, i dont think the word 'gratitude' exist. even it is written, you fools are just too stupid to understand it. one narcissistic, one moronic, one chicken, one irresponsible.. gud shyt seriously, keep it up then.. till one fine day where you're cognizant of your stupidity deeds, it will be the judgment day.. voila!!!

newayz, im uber excited coz i'm watching eclipse on thurs..
but im even uberx2 excited because it's his off day
and im even uberx3 excited because finally we get to go on a road trip.. fwoood!! nom nomzz

being in love with your bff is the best thing ever ♥
and i am the blessed one ☺

-Saltwater-

i opened my eyes last night and saw you in the low light
walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the planes that aren’t there anymore
i was feeling the night grow old and you were looking so cold
like an introvert, I drew my over shirt
around my arms and began to shiver violently before
you happened to look and see the tunnels all around me
running into the dark underground
all the subways around create a great sound
to my motion fatigue: farewell
with your ear to a seashell
you can hear the waves in underwater caves
as if you actually were inside a saltwater room

time together isn't ever quite enough
when you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
what will it take to make or break this hint of love?
we need time, only time
when we're apart, whatever are you thinking of?
if this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
so tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?
all the time, all the time

can you believe that the crew has gone and wouldn’t let me sign on
all my islands have sunk in the deep, so I can hardly relax or even oversleep
i feel as if I were home some nights, when we count all the ship lights
i guess I'll never know why sparrows love the snow
we’ll turn out all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow

so tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
all the time.

-Gooey-

i am kissing my holiday goodbye

though this holiday im stuck at kl, but at least i took a short trip down to melaka and i am contented with how its squandered =D
for the remaining week, i decided to ditch those outings and date my lappie.
finally that drama i've been waiting for is out and i will recommence my fringe marathon.
seriously, i really like to be undisturbed and unmoved...just all the 'un's whereby i am at my comfort zone. not all the time, but i just need it.


ps. love, dont lah deranged, just another episode for the day.. i want!

-Lifted-

the redolence of roses linger around me when i opened my eyes.
and the chipper of the birdy twitter me good morning.
oh yea, and that burned smell from the kitchen reminded me of the very first cupcake i baked.
not to mention that flicker on my cellphone is my very own personal beacon that indicates ' you've gotta mail, love'
i heart today =)

happy father's day to you 'Awang'. i dont want to be long winding and all. there a certain things whereby action speaks louder than words and dad, please cut down on the food you're eating. oh yea, be less grumpy and dont get carried away by that uncle francis. -.-

newayz, my holiday is ending soon. time flies... sigh
newayz, im going for a movie tonight..
newayz, i'm lifted with these

-Capricious-

im slowly coming into existence of cruelty and merciless in life. i've stumbled upon countless optimist in life and the funny part was the ignorant side of them. just because of what we perceived is somewhat the contrary of what they comprehend, they tend to gape on you like a soul being reaped where the only aura u emit is all doleful and hopeless. de facto in every human being, everyone just love to feed on positive remark to have that feel good factor. sometimes, its just too indulgent. the word 'balance' exist for a reason....

"Sweetness is sickness, bitterness is medicine"

praise is like a sweet, excess of which causes sickness.

criticism is like a bitter pill or a painful injection but which cure sickness.

like accepting the bitter pill or the painful injection, courage is needed to welcome criticism and not to be afraid.

the ugliness we see in others, is a reflection of our own nature. things aint complicated as what it is state or said. learning to tolerate other people's view even though you effing dislike it, does not mean you have to follow the ideas and ideals. it is just an ethical view by which life takes on a serious aspect.

im heading off to melaka tomorrow

at times, having faith and pray is the only answer for the uncertain.

but somehow,im certain on the decided.

yawnnnzzz..

ps. a certain statement doesnt mean i am in a dilemma or a down state. to be clearcut, it doesnt mean parting ways. im in a healthy condition and relationship.

-Blabber-

oh my, finally i am waving my hands to those papers and now i am officially on holiday.

its time for me to make plans for the upcoming weeks to come.

knn, i thought that i should be a little more loosen up for the last paper since i did prepared early. mana tahu i terkena food poisoning and i screw those precious tick tock hours that i needed before exam for final revision and me ended up taking in rainbow pills..

i need to loosen up a little =)

-Hyped-

this is cute =), as in the collage thingy..
oh my, at this wee hour my stomach is having rumbles within..
and now i am itching for claypot lou shu fun.. and tff, thanks to limpeh for that..
omg, while im blogging limpeh just buzzed me.. he's finally back for good frm S.A..
for now, i am supposed to be studying but yet i am leeching on inessential stuff.

btw, thanks to papahao i am entangled with this;



newayz, cheerios to lee dewyze..
newayz, i need to stuff myself with fwoood!!
newayz, i hv no idea why am i so hyper at this hour..

ciao bella

-Giggle-

PLUE!!
for those who never heard of it or did not knew bout it, they have no idea why PLUE
somehow, nature usually takes it own cause. just like human did at times.
in a way, somehow, someone, something rekindled
often times, all these thoughtfulness do make you feel gleeful and warm
even the miles and the gap doesnt weight in much
being compared to those who you thought they are the ones who matter most, but it turns out to be not.
at times, its sucha melancholy and heart breaking, but that particular time will eventually fade away.
because i know, what needs to be done.
i wont pace my foot forward anymore because every step i take, i take it warily and sanely
i might loose my compass, but i haven't loose my senses

p.s. thnx to ruffeyz, for reminding me.. how i used to be so happy when i saw this

-Brand New-

waking up today make me feel brand new and i am not sure whether it is something good or bad. maybe at last, i finally come to my senses in certain issues. but yet i am proud of what i am

here is a short post, so dont mind those senseless words of mine.

i used to questioned why am i sucha hardheaded one whereby i am so denial and stubborn to make a pace for myself. just one single step and that is all it takes. and i did so. for once, i am being so proud of it because it is what i want all this while. even words cant describe how blessed and fortunate i am for having the one. throughout the test of time, i realise more than what it takes. i always believe in fairytales even though it might be the biggest scam ever to con kids. there are times whereby a person have to grow up and start to banish all these thoughts.

the words that are spoken it cant be revoked. for the first time it might be a mistake, but then, the second time it might be a misunderstanding. but for the third time, i know it was real. it is not a question whereby where will it lead, its a question whereby do you think its worth everything. and my say will be the second one. because it is worth it. and that is all it matters. it is not what you get in return, it is what i did which matters.

for now, we wouldnt know where this trail will lead us to but i'm glad im on the track.

i'll be on a hiatus mode for now and i would not vent much on this lodge. it is better to keep everything to the soul within.

-this time, its in korean where i find it harder to catch me.. for those who fathoms, they knew why music-

p.s. yes, i am in love with my bff whereby i refuse to admit. and yes, i lie to u when i say it will never happen. take good care n rest well, since u're ill

-makan time-

-Hooked-

stop
oh yes, wait a minute mr postman
wait
wait mr postman =)

at this wee hour, i'm still rushing on assignment.. 1.5k words to go *gulped*

and yes, i am still blogging -.-

and yes, the heart lodged by..

and yes, im on cloud nine

even the sticks and roasted bean taste like honey

-its a rainbow-

p.s. another 2 more days =)

-Hark-

別打開 禮物的緞帶

最初充滿期待 最後都腐敗

別打開 午夜的電臺

別讓情歌反覆再愚弄

而愛 並沒有教給我生存

只教我交易虛榮給天真

可是愛 讓我們變成陌生人

卻變不了更高尚的靈魂

不要吻我 只要抱著我

不要愛我 做我的親人

把手借我 一天一分鐘

做我最親密的親人

不是誰的情人 誰的某某某

就算我 全身濕透透
我也不再被誰 牽著鼻子走

如果我 還握住拳頭

可能我怕我的夢飛走

而愛 並不如你想的萬能

不能讓我們不再戰爭

可是愛 連慈悲也沒多慈悲

誰愛越深越容易被犧牲

不要吻我 只要抱著我

不要愛我 做我的親人

把手借我 一天一分鐘

讓我還敢做我的夢

做我夢中偉大的微笑的英雄

often times, i used to dispute the fact that i'm on this state. i feel that slowly i am loosing myself and the significant things that matters most to me. i used to love before, whereby i love blindly and unconditionally.

perhaps it should be naive and stupid for certain someone. i make a pledge to myself that i won't throw myself out there for any inflictions and to be wounded anymore. the feeling whereby u are just abandoned during the pitch black night in the middle of nowhere and hoping helplessly for that mr. becoming to come. basically, like what someone told me that i've just been rescued from that lair and now i am digging myself another grave.

perhaps i am too good in camouflaging and masking myself whereby beneath of it, i am still the fragile one. as these capability of mine is wearing off, i am slowly unveiling myself to jeopardies.

i've never changed much within the soul, that i am still the vunerable one, breathe eating in the love that i need and the shelter that keep me safe from everything. those darkest hours and bygones are still leeching on me. even a slight glimpse on that very knife will wound me and make me bleed.

all this while i keep it within, whereby u existed before u knew

the difference is that i refused to concede, fearing the worst to come about. that is why i chose to be the keeper. but you chose to walkaway, once.. the difference is that, i never..

for now, i found the very answer i needed and its you who havent found yours..

yet..

-Murmur-

this is how i started my day, with tunes and my expresso frap =)
although there's some displeasing moment this morning, but who cares
as long as i am in good hands and dote on

xXyawnzzXx
assignment time

-Ribbonized-

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everbody needs a song.
A beautiful melody,
When the night's are long.
Cause there is no guarantee,
That this love is easy.

And when my world is falling apart.
When there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I, I, I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore.
That's when I look at you.

When I look at you,
I see forgiveness,
I see the truth.
You love me for who I am,
Like the stars hold the moon,
Right there where they belong.
and I know im not alone.

Yeah when my world is falling apart,
When there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I, I, I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore,
That's when I look at you.

You, appear just like a dream to me.
Just like kaleidoscope colours,
That cover me,
All I need,
Every breath that I breathe,
Don't you know you're beautiful.

-Random Walker-

there are moments in life where you wish that it would last forever

the footprints and the trails that we paced on leave an impact in our life

often times, there were certain something that you somehow left behind

which is significant and important to you, but somehow u missed it

as for the soul within, i will never repeat that random walk again

because what is happening now, is what i cherish and heart

-FxiSxm-

its a bittersweet symphony
reminded us the fundamental of laughter
the measureless path and bumpy road we took
the years and the bond
through the test of time, it was still sturdy and solid
oh boy, u've secured that very knot on me
oh boy, u've seen the ugly truth and beautiful state of mine
often times, only you fathoms the paradoxical mind of mine
often times, you seem to reach me in the most obscure place
we are both like a fuse of indie jazz routine
where the law of opposite attract is what drawn us together
it wasn't about vanity and the 5'C's
it wasn't about befitting and society outlook
its all about me and you and a dog named boo
(>.<)

you're my bff
you're my soulmate
you're just you
the fixie bear from down the hill