-Saltwater-

i opened my eyes last night and saw you in the low light
walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the planes that aren’t there anymore
i was feeling the night grow old and you were looking so cold
like an introvert, I drew my over shirt
around my arms and began to shiver violently before
you happened to look and see the tunnels all around me
running into the dark underground
all the subways around create a great sound
to my motion fatigue: farewell
with your ear to a seashell
you can hear the waves in underwater caves
as if you actually were inside a saltwater room

time together isn't ever quite enough
when you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
what will it take to make or break this hint of love?
we need time, only time
when we're apart, whatever are you thinking of?
if this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
so tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?
all the time, all the time

can you believe that the crew has gone and wouldn’t let me sign on
all my islands have sunk in the deep, so I can hardly relax or even oversleep
i feel as if I were home some nights, when we count all the ship lights
i guess I'll never know why sparrows love the snow
we’ll turn out all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow

so tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
all the time.

-Gooey-

i am kissing my holiday goodbye

though this holiday im stuck at kl, but at least i took a short trip down to melaka and i am contented with how its squandered =D
for the remaining week, i decided to ditch those outings and date my lappie.
finally that drama i've been waiting for is out and i will recommence my fringe marathon.
seriously, i really like to be undisturbed and unmoved...just all the 'un's whereby i am at my comfort zone. not all the time, but i just need it.


ps. love, dont lah deranged, just another episode for the day.. i want!

-Lifted-

the redolence of roses linger around me when i opened my eyes.
and the chipper of the birdy twitter me good morning.
oh yea, and that burned smell from the kitchen reminded me of the very first cupcake i baked.
not to mention that flicker on my cellphone is my very own personal beacon that indicates ' you've gotta mail, love'
i heart today =)

happy father's day to you 'Awang'. i dont want to be long winding and all. there a certain things whereby action speaks louder than words and dad, please cut down on the food you're eating. oh yea, be less grumpy and dont get carried away by that uncle francis. -.-

newayz, my holiday is ending soon. time flies... sigh
newayz, im going for a movie tonight..
newayz, i'm lifted with these

-Capricious-

im slowly coming into existence of cruelty and merciless in life. i've stumbled upon countless optimist in life and the funny part was the ignorant side of them. just because of what we perceived is somewhat the contrary of what they comprehend, they tend to gape on you like a soul being reaped where the only aura u emit is all doleful and hopeless. de facto in every human being, everyone just love to feed on positive remark to have that feel good factor. sometimes, its just too indulgent. the word 'balance' exist for a reason....

"Sweetness is sickness, bitterness is medicine"

praise is like a sweet, excess of which causes sickness.

criticism is like a bitter pill or a painful injection but which cure sickness.

like accepting the bitter pill or the painful injection, courage is needed to welcome criticism and not to be afraid.

the ugliness we see in others, is a reflection of our own nature. things aint complicated as what it is state or said. learning to tolerate other people's view even though you effing dislike it, does not mean you have to follow the ideas and ideals. it is just an ethical view by which life takes on a serious aspect.

im heading off to melaka tomorrow

at times, having faith and pray is the only answer for the uncertain.

but somehow,im certain on the decided.

yawnnnzzz..

ps. a certain statement doesnt mean i am in a dilemma or a down state. to be clearcut, it doesnt mean parting ways. im in a healthy condition and relationship.

-Blabber-

oh my, finally i am waving my hands to those papers and now i am officially on holiday.

its time for me to make plans for the upcoming weeks to come.

knn, i thought that i should be a little more loosen up for the last paper since i did prepared early. mana tahu i terkena food poisoning and i screw those precious tick tock hours that i needed before exam for final revision and me ended up taking in rainbow pills..

i need to loosen up a little =)

-Hyped-

this is cute =), as in the collage thingy..
oh my, at this wee hour my stomach is having rumbles within..
and now i am itching for claypot lou shu fun.. and tff, thanks to limpeh for that..
omg, while im blogging limpeh just buzzed me.. he's finally back for good frm S.A..
for now, i am supposed to be studying but yet i am leeching on inessential stuff.

btw, thanks to papahao i am entangled with this;



newayz, cheerios to lee dewyze..
newayz, i need to stuff myself with fwoood!!
newayz, i hv no idea why am i so hyper at this hour..

ciao bella

-Giggle-

PLUE!!
for those who never heard of it or did not knew bout it, they have no idea why PLUE
somehow, nature usually takes it own cause. just like human did at times.
in a way, somehow, someone, something rekindled
often times, all these thoughtfulness do make you feel gleeful and warm
even the miles and the gap doesnt weight in much
being compared to those who you thought they are the ones who matter most, but it turns out to be not.
at times, its sucha melancholy and heart breaking, but that particular time will eventually fade away.
because i know, what needs to be done.
i wont pace my foot forward anymore because every step i take, i take it warily and sanely
i might loose my compass, but i haven't loose my senses

p.s. thnx to ruffeyz, for reminding me.. how i used to be so happy when i saw this

-Brand New-

waking up today make me feel brand new and i am not sure whether it is something good or bad. maybe at last, i finally come to my senses in certain issues. but yet i am proud of what i am

here is a short post, so dont mind those senseless words of mine.

i used to questioned why am i sucha hardheaded one whereby i am so denial and stubborn to make a pace for myself. just one single step and that is all it takes. and i did so. for once, i am being so proud of it because it is what i want all this while. even words cant describe how blessed and fortunate i am for having the one. throughout the test of time, i realise more than what it takes. i always believe in fairytales even though it might be the biggest scam ever to con kids. there are times whereby a person have to grow up and start to banish all these thoughts.

the words that are spoken it cant be revoked. for the first time it might be a mistake, but then, the second time it might be a misunderstanding. but for the third time, i know it was real. it is not a question whereby where will it lead, its a question whereby do you think its worth everything. and my say will be the second one. because it is worth it. and that is all it matters. it is not what you get in return, it is what i did which matters.

for now, we wouldnt know where this trail will lead us to but i'm glad im on the track.

i'll be on a hiatus mode for now and i would not vent much on this lodge. it is better to keep everything to the soul within.

-this time, its in korean where i find it harder to catch me.. for those who fathoms, they knew why music-

p.s. yes, i am in love with my bff whereby i refuse to admit. and yes, i lie to u when i say it will never happen. take good care n rest well, since u're ill

-makan time-

-Hooked-

stop
oh yes, wait a minute mr postman
wait
wait mr postman =)

at this wee hour, i'm still rushing on assignment.. 1.5k words to go *gulped*

and yes, i am still blogging -.-

and yes, the heart lodged by..

and yes, im on cloud nine

even the sticks and roasted bean taste like honey

-its a rainbow-

p.s. another 2 more days =)

-Hark-

別打開 禮物的緞帶

最初充滿期待 最後都腐敗

別打開 午夜的電臺

別讓情歌反覆再愚弄

而愛 並沒有教給我生存

只教我交易虛榮給天真

可是愛 讓我們變成陌生人

卻變不了更高尚的靈魂

不要吻我 只要抱著我

不要愛我 做我的親人

把手借我 一天一分鐘

做我最親密的親人

不是誰的情人 誰的某某某

就算我 全身濕透透
我也不再被誰 牽著鼻子走

如果我 還握住拳頭

可能我怕我的夢飛走

而愛 並不如你想的萬能

不能讓我們不再戰爭

可是愛 連慈悲也沒多慈悲

誰愛越深越容易被犧牲

不要吻我 只要抱著我

不要愛我 做我的親人

把手借我 一天一分鐘

讓我還敢做我的夢

做我夢中偉大的微笑的英雄

often times, i used to dispute the fact that i'm on this state. i feel that slowly i am loosing myself and the significant things that matters most to me. i used to love before, whereby i love blindly and unconditionally.

perhaps it should be naive and stupid for certain someone. i make a pledge to myself that i won't throw myself out there for any inflictions and to be wounded anymore. the feeling whereby u are just abandoned during the pitch black night in the middle of nowhere and hoping helplessly for that mr. becoming to come. basically, like what someone told me that i've just been rescued from that lair and now i am digging myself another grave.

perhaps i am too good in camouflaging and masking myself whereby beneath of it, i am still the fragile one. as these capability of mine is wearing off, i am slowly unveiling myself to jeopardies.

i've never changed much within the soul, that i am still the vunerable one, breathe eating in the love that i need and the shelter that keep me safe from everything. those darkest hours and bygones are still leeching on me. even a slight glimpse on that very knife will wound me and make me bleed.

all this while i keep it within, whereby u existed before u knew

the difference is that i refused to concede, fearing the worst to come about. that is why i chose to be the keeper. but you chose to walkaway, once.. the difference is that, i never..

for now, i found the very answer i needed and its you who havent found yours..

yet..

-Murmur-

this is how i started my day, with tunes and my expresso frap =)
although there's some displeasing moment this morning, but who cares
as long as i am in good hands and dote on

xXyawnzzXx
assignment time

-Ribbonized-

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everbody needs a song.
A beautiful melody,
When the night's are long.
Cause there is no guarantee,
That this love is easy.

And when my world is falling apart.
When there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I, I, I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore.
That's when I look at you.

When I look at you,
I see forgiveness,
I see the truth.
You love me for who I am,
Like the stars hold the moon,
Right there where they belong.
and I know im not alone.

Yeah when my world is falling apart,
When there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I, I, I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore,
That's when I look at you.

You, appear just like a dream to me.
Just like kaleidoscope colours,
That cover me,
All I need,
Every breath that I breathe,
Don't you know you're beautiful.

-Random Walker-

there are moments in life where you wish that it would last forever

the footprints and the trails that we paced on leave an impact in our life

often times, there were certain something that you somehow left behind

which is significant and important to you, but somehow u missed it

as for the soul within, i will never repeat that random walk again

because what is happening now, is what i cherish and heart

-FxiSxm-

its a bittersweet symphony
reminded us the fundamental of laughter
the measureless path and bumpy road we took
the years and the bond
through the test of time, it was still sturdy and solid
oh boy, u've secured that very knot on me
oh boy, u've seen the ugly truth and beautiful state of mine
often times, only you fathoms the paradoxical mind of mine
often times, you seem to reach me in the most obscure place
we are both like a fuse of indie jazz routine
where the law of opposite attract is what drawn us together
it wasn't about vanity and the 5'C's
it wasn't about befitting and society outlook
its all about me and you and a dog named boo
(>.<)

you're my bff
you're my soulmate
you're just you
the fixie bear from down the hill

-Augmented-

slowly, i'm pacing off from the rollercoaster ride i am in. Things around me seem to augment by itself and no longer poses a threat to the soul within. for that nanosecond, i feel like everything was colliding and i am barely there, gripping on to anything i can hold on to survive that chaotic moment. i used to question the whyfor and the drastic-ness in life i'm forced to face. everthing was like a repetition itself,perhaps like an ipod turned on shuffle mode whereby u effing hate that particular song and it seems like that was the only euphony in your playlist. worst still, the battery was like forever.

at times, living your life like a sadist or pessimist will eventually ruin your very own life. fools like u needed a reality slap badly. dont u fools know that those around you are somehow stuck in the same state you are in and they suffer from those consequences you've caused. at times, prohibiting those vunerability of yours from residing is a good thing. people used to be caught in their own fixation about how the world spins and in the long run, these delusions of theirs became so surreal that they no longer can differentiate between fiction and reality.

newayz, here i express my gratitude to those who assisted me and im thankful to the special ones for that crying shoulder i needed badly during those rough times.

so i am done for the short post of the month and the woman is now on the run

ciao bella

-Abstract-

it was tainted

it feels like looking through a fish eye lens

everyone and everything was hermit like

at times it looks like duality

it was way surpasses picasso's imaginations

it was way behold the heart of beholder

you lay your eyes to it

you lay your touch through those fingers

its like a form of colored patches and puzzlement

the admix feeling of imaginarium and senses arose within

it is mind conceiving

it is an abstract

an abstract of affection

-PictoStart-

knn, i am having rashes all over my body and running nose..
oh my, i'm uber tired and busy since the kick of 2010..
finally, i am havin a lil time to somehow blog a lil and my lodge is pretty dead.
i miss dozing off before 12 n waking up early in the morn..

-bites of mine-

-munches of me-

heck lotsa picto to be ditto on.. and more to come..
i've been pokering, 'chuk moong', ginrami, blackjack and yadas..
drinking from cny's eve till now and chumping 24/7, tar kei and soirees
upcoming:
-karaoke tomorrow night + buffet
-house visiting on fri and shopping. dang, i lost my cam's cable so i need to get one and yes mom, i'll exchange those currency tomorrow. newayz, usd raised a lil.. just a reminder for myself
-justin's b'day bash.. just got him this cute photoelectronic abc&123 learning device
-class commencing and yet i am still on my unofficial holiday
-vietnam trip
-thailand trip
-genting trip
that is all i can remember for now.
since i've stopped jotting down words on my planner, i am getting a lil jumbled up
bless me

just pondering, is there any place where i can get greentea frap now!
those craves are itching on me
i am going to start my gym right after vietnam, i'm ballooning up like shyt and i need to stop bulging before i have this frantic-ness on xxx.. lol
happy cny everyone

-Jester-

-what a way to start my year.. thanks to ron for that shyt-

happy 2010 my lodge.
here i am inconstant with my deportment again.
for this year, there are heaps of resolutions i head on..
lettering down my thoughts and trails seems to be lessen lately.

there's been alot of ups and downs for me.
it feels like for the past year, i've been evolving from my true form. the alter ego in me seems to take position of what i've become and movin within the parallel of time no longer make any sense to me, while the soul within still resides. i would call it the observer, the one who fathom and tell between.

there are part of one's personality which is mistaken for a divinely created soul.
may it be called the feeling or sensations which and be pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. feelings arise when contact made with the eye, ear, touch or perhaps the mind. when your eyes 'sees', that is all that happens, which is seeing. the eye simply falls on hundred of objects in a day and moves on, but then something else happens. the eye meets a form and consciousness arises and this inevitably give rises to your mind. but then, what the mind perceives in a way is it the act you choose to carry out?

with feeling, there is perception which is the recognition of things and then we are accompanied by mental formations which includes volition. when we consciously act upon what we perceive in a certain way, this is when the karmic results... consciousness which contains all the previous factors makin 4 factors in all, namely, feelin, sensation.. mental formation and consciousness. at times, when mind and matter together make up the illusion of a person. don't you feel some time its hard to tell whether it's fiction or not.

all these arises within me when certain someone make this statement;
'there are 24 personalities in a person. what is your pov about it?'

newayz, check out john mayer and zee avi's latest album

-Conked-

it's an effing tired day for me.

finally, i am done with the passport thingy. i'm sorta immobilized today and got stuck in the immigration department, from 8.30 to 4. what a great day and finally, i am sipping on my green tea frap at the lodging spot. thanks to the ah moi for accompanying me through those dreadful and wearysome hours. oh my, we both are really donkeys in crime.

oh my, i hate you..

damn, i do hate you...

i hate you Burger.. you make me itch for you, you evil ayam special cheese. i had you on kg. malaysia and now i am longing for you. what had you done to me. why are you so tempting and tantalizing. you are sucha mean one.. sucha succulent one. dang, i'm so gonna have you tonight.

december should be a festive and moolah sucking month for everybody.

but there's a little extra for the donks. what a nice way to start the month with presentation tomorrow and assignments due. sleepovers are like weekly to me now.

oh my, can i just graduate faster and travel.

the woman is on the move now.

maxis centre and optical shop will be my next destination.

ciao bella

-FurBall-

I'm pretty weary lately and i'm kind of skeptical towards certain issues..
I'm really tired lately and i slept for almost 12 hours yesterday
The trail of mine:

• running here and there for errands
• engaged in some sorta melee
• supposed to study law, but then met up with the ladies and went for uber deli duck rice at some ulu place in kg. pandan. and thanks to lil, we went to queen's park. my total damage of x1 perfume, x1 polo shirt, x1 makeup, x1 long sleeve and nearly x1 bag.
• having sleepovers at lil's place.
• went for ketchup sessione with the bear and p.yee at a new lodging spot in tmn. desa. then head on to shawn cutler. i pretty like what fei did to my strands. thanks to the child for it, whereby it was supposed to be her moment and ended up me and the bear blend in for the fun.
• just came home from the ice cream parlour

tomorrow i need to wake up early to bank in cheques, fix my glasses, pick up lappie and renew my passport whereby i'll be leaving on 11th.

ps: mom, i am going to renew it.. for REAL.. so ya, dont nag

nanites